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If You Pirate Movies, Horrible, Terrible Things Will Happen To You

There have been dozens of anti-piracy ads in recent years but most were not only dry but also ineffective.

The latest may not achieve any better results, but it is without doubt the most entertaining – and the most gruesome – by far.

Explaining it will only ruin the fun, so we’ll just say that it’s for the movie John Dies at the End and let you enjoy the show.

Warning: NSFW and pretty nasty….have fun :)

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  • HelloRiaa

    LOL WTF? Is this like the scary images they put on cigarette packs? To deter people…I can understand the cigarettes, but to download a movie, you’ll spontaneously explode. OK. Time to download it.

    • That_Anonymous_Coward

      Scenes from the movie.
      It helps advertise, it reminds people it isn’t a big budget movie, and pokes fun at downloading.
      They are making the movie available legally, hopefully at a good price, and rather than screaming how they are going to sue you into oblivion.

      Seems like a much better way to handle it than to scream about the loss of imaginary billions and the murder of kittens that happens when you download a movie.

      • That_Anonymous_Coward

        Yeah 10 bucks for a rental on Google Play…
        carry on…

        • AgathaPenis

          How much does a cinema ticket cost where you are?

          Get a couple of mates round and split it, or trick them into buying the pizza/ bringing the booze.

      • Whatever

        Before jumping to conclusions first wait four about 6 months, sueing seems to take a lot of time, to see if they are indeed different. (We all jump to conclusions some of the time)

        They can still be keeping up appearances at the front end and doing the opposite behind closed doors.

        To quota a certain series again: “It has happened before and will happen again”

        • That_Anonymous_Coward

          Watching the trolling empire of John Steele collapsing it is very possible that the courts will finally put a halt to the mass trolling cases. We might even force the courts to rule the damages are unconstitutional.

        • http://gene-poole.tumblr.com Gene Poole

          Is there a new development in the Prenda Law case? or are they still playing “Hide the CEO?”

        • That_Anonymous_Coward

          Judge moved to allow discovery, Pretenda hired a criminal lawfirm to represent them, Pretenda changed names, lies to the court in affidavits from clients…
          the usual.
          Keep up to date on Pretenda – fightcopyrighttrolls.com
          SJD does amazing work.

        • http://fightcopyrighttrolls.com/ SJD

          Ohai TAC. Pull some cold champagne tonight: you deserve a lot of credit. “SJD” alone is nothing.

        • ProGrasTiNation

          Funny i used that quote alot in my life & was amazed when i first saw it in said series,even my beliefs are in the dam thing.Needless to same the sumerians had it right i think.

    • Zzaapp

      If it does anything at all it might give small children nightmares … shame on Hollywood!

    • Guest

      Isn’t this a joke?

      I doubt they are being serious, or trying to scare people at all. Seems more like an attempt at viral marketing…

      Offering from day one is a good start.

    • Jimmylj

      You have got to be bloody joking!

    • nanoTomics

      There just yanking ya chain… lolz… these people make great indy movies on shoestring budgets.. RESPECT!

      Example;
      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0281686/

      Actually I would think hollywood has plenty of cash….

      “With official results in, overall 2012 domestic box office came in at a record $10.83 billion. That’s up six-and-a-half percent from last year and two percent from 2009, which previously held the record with $10.596 billion.

      More importantly, there were approximately 1.36 billion tickets sold, which is higher than 2011 (1.28 billion) and 2010 (1.34 billion). While it isn’t anywhere near the 2002 high of 1.58 billion, it still confirms that, even with the ever-increasing options for home entertainment, people will head out to movie theaters if the product is appealing enough.”

      Taken from here;
      http://www.boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=3600&p=.htm

      Poses the question… is the anti-piracy movement having success or are people just simply going to the movies more?

      Such big numbers make it difficult to estimate the true impact of piracy on box office margins, but I seriously doubt, it [piracy] has any significant effect at all, there are currently over 25,000 films in production at the feet of Hollywood studios.

      I don’t think it makes good business sense to invest into so much product if piracy was such a serious threat to the returns, as they are saying.

      So someone is lying.

      The law? The law is but a mere lost lamb, in this savage capitalist playing field, we have created.

    • Al muarad

      many terrorists then …. boom …. aaaah USA Wants to get a ride of those …

  • Dbxxydxj

    Very nice trailer, watched while eating cereals :)

    can’t wait to check it out “when it’s available in my region” xD

    • fuck you

      dumbass

    • LrTrT

      Just wonder who are those that vomit while they’re watching movies,
      now, if they would be watching something nasty while eating, that’s a different story,

  • Asdfasd

    This is how you do a DO NOT DOWNLOAD ad…

    1)Make available affordable-ish, and as few restrictions as possible ASAP.

    2) Possible most important say or imply PLEASE don’t download and why.

    3) Don’t attack your fans who do but support those who are paying you and you appreciate both in their own way.

    4) Make us want to watch the ad.

  • iseeingi2i

    here’s the John Dies at the End checklist
    DO YOU ENJOY
    -being threatened to rent (not even buy to own) a film or else suffer excruciating death?
    -Living in america (foreigners go home!)?
    -the google play store?
    -paying 10$ to rent a movie that is maybe 108 minutes long (that’s a pretty hefty price for not being able to even keep it)?
    -low budget indie films mocking classic horror films?
    if you said yes to all of these then congratulations you should totally rent John Dies at the End!

    • http://gene-poole.tumblr.com Gene Poole

      You know what? I don’t disagree with anything you’re saying, you’re absolutely right.

      But I still consider it a win for them.

      The facts are:

      – They are offering it for people in their homes on a legal basis from day one, at least in sync with (if not in advance of) the theatrical screening, and better quality than one would get it for as a cam

      – A lot of people took a look at it on VOD/Google Play, even if they didn’t buy

      This at least shows they’re listening to the public and trying to improve the service issues. It’s not available in every region, and the price is too high, this is something they’ll have to try again on next time to improve. But for every person that has the option to download it legally, that feels the price of a movie ticket to watch it in their own home is worth it for them, that’s another sale they managed to claim back from piracy.

      I’m not surprised to see that it’s an indie studio doing this instead of a major studio, but maybe if this happens enough times and there’s enough success it can be the test studies to show success and get the major studios to start (glacially) moving in this direction. I see this as a good thing.

  • Bitmaste

    just because of that I’ll dow & reencode it to small mkv & post it all over warez !

    • SixbySix

      Downgrading the encodes.

  • John Space

    I only download classic horror movies, not (snicker) gore. May I get Christopher Lee and Lon Chaney as vampires?

    • Jack Deckard

      Sorry, that kind of classy movie went out years ago sadly. The best you can get today is Ron Pearlman and CGI. And hey, when can I get my Roger Corman Poe movies on Blu-ray????

  • http://woodquinn.x10.mx/ Quinn

    Well, thanks for making it available online from day one at least.

  • Anyone

    not available in my region…
    oh well, nice try at least

    it’s not a genre I enjoy anyway, so I will probably not download it
    maybe out of spite

  • Anonymouus_mother_fucker

    is it on the pirate bay yet ? lol

    • Anyone

      not yet

    • fuck you

      dude its not even in theatres stupid fucker

      • Mcprlxvi

        It’s “video on demand”.

        You’re a real dumb fuck aren’t you lol

      • Gfchgfsdc

        it’s video on demand you shithead.

        on another note: goooo censhorship in comments go!

    • puddipuddi

      it’s been on private trackers for a bit now

  • Drugs=Good

    A new p2p drug that sends its users across time and dimensions has one drawback: some downloaders return as no longer human.

    Can two college pirates save human(dot)kind from this silent, otherworldly torrent?

    Will New UK Censorship Impact Torrent Sites?

    Will Joe Morganelli restore his Twitter posts?

    Nope.

  • Asdfsadf

    I actually thought this was a very good way to handle the issue. In a funny way, you tell people to get the legal alternative. I found it pretty funny.

    A few years ago a Portuguese humorist singer put in the first music of the CD: “to the people who downloaded this CD, I hope you have a diarrhea so so big that you stay 4 days burping cucumbers” xD I downloaded it and thought it was funny

  • Roswell1701

    Who the hell gave them permission to download my daydreams? I have a copyright!

  • http://www.facebook.com/chillinfart Arturo Julio Zevallos Córdova

    If you want to offer something, don’t fuck with country restrictions.

    This comment is from their Facebook:

    “So, you DON’T want us to try and get a torrent because you claim to make it available. HOWEVER, you only put it out in U.S. markets…guess I’m waiting for a good torrent then. Way to make a point and promptly do what you criticized.”

    • imlazy

      “The miracle of VOD” is limited to the US.
      Get with the program, Magnolia pictures wants VOD to fail.

  • fuck you

    they will never kill piracy nor will it ever kill you

    • http://twitter.com/DuckTheNWO ☠ NewWorldStoner ☠

      You say that, then pirates attack your ship and make you walk the plank…

  • http://twitter.com/kylegrigg Kyle Grigg

    Not like I needed another reason to not see this movie.

  • downunder

    Might be a trick to get it pirated by daring the pirates so they implanted so tracking code LOL or hidden text in the credits..

    fook itunes never used and never will.. dont like paying over priced digital goods with 30 percent going to billionaire pockets just for hosting it

    and $10 a download what a joke.. if they want people to pay make it cheap

    and anyhow bet its usa only downloads too right? like most things

  • Mcprlxvi

    It’s “already available for every region” guys xD

  • Guest

    John Dies At The End 2012 WEBRiP XViD-1MPERiUM(+)

  • Hilo

    If Cary Sherman (RIAA) or Chris Dodd (MPAA) were to drop their pants and wring their tiny weenie on live tv or at least upload it to Youtube. Then I would consider stop downloading for a week!

  • http://twitter.com/TPBGirl TPBGirl ™

    When I downloaded the movie last night, the neighbors heads exploded. Not mine. No worries, they were crappy neighbors anyway. So Hollywood, looks like you got a few wires crossed. Nice try though ;)

    Its almost 2013 and we have survived another year.

    Happy Piratey New Years Everyone!

    Salut & cheers to another year the Pirate Bay is still an unsinkable ship! May your torrents go top 100 and your VPNs get cheaper! ;)

    To Hollywood.. Don’t you have some extortion letters to send out to Parliament, Congress, Warner, Universal, and Sony Entertainment? Damn thieves! WHAT were they thinking illegally downloading movies and crappy shows like “Gossip Girl”! tsk.. tsk.. tsk. (No accounting for taste)

    Anywho.. Party on TPB peeps! The torrents are on me tonight! bahahahahaa!!

  • http://gene-poole.tumblr.com Gene Poole

    “On Demand”.

    So my local cable provider has it right now, and it’s before the theatrical release?

    Fucking awesome, this is what I’m talking about. STFU and take my money. I’m happy to pay for this, even though I’m sure there’s a torrent for it right now. Well done, guys.

    • Anonymous

      ^ typical MAFIAA shill at work. No tact at all. smh

      • http://gene-poole.tumblr.com Gene Poole

        You got me. I spent years laying down some subtle groundwork pretending to be a filesharer, all for this moment right here. Way to go, Scooby. you really cracked that case.

        If something interested me and I think it’s a good idea, I’m going to say so, and fuck you.

  • Wiseonefromtheeast

    These producers moust really be morons, nobody wants to see a movie… if they make such a crappy and not funny trailer…
    Keep up the good work (!)

  • guess

    Here is the code for your download.
    41DE4B6317ED5C6EB6D84A2C3D08792AED72DD49

  • Who

    I didn’t bother watching this POS cause the tittle is directly THREATENING.
    I do NOT respond to terrorism.

    • Gfchgfsdc

      watched it and actually it was damn great

  • xpmule

    Reminds me of when the TV show Metalocalypse shows what happens to people when they download their albums..

  • Anon

    I think it’s ironic they are asking people not to pirate this crappy movie because it’s considered an “independent” film and, by not pirating it, it allows more independent films to be made.

    Yeah, OK. If there are more independent films like this POS, why would anyone want to download them or see more of them floating around?

    Sounds like they’re trying to appease to people not to download but, in fact, it’s more of a marketing plot to get people interested in the film by claiming lots of people are downloading it (because it’s so good?), hoping they would take a look at it, rather than just skip right by it like 99% of people normally would.

    Nice try by the producers though, I’ll say it was an inventive trick, but mostly just lame though.

  • http://twitter.com/krozareq krozareq

    I just downloaded it an nothing ha-

  • wokeyirang
  • Keith Shillingburg

    Have to give them credit. At least they have a sense of humor and made it entertaining.

  • Qoaa
  • Anon

    Considering that this was the worst movie ever I’m not surprised they don’t want people finding out about their sub par products until you’ve already purchased tickets… and that’s a huge part of what it’s about – downloading is the logical social response to an industry that is based on the production of ‘Lemons’. People who download still pay for movies at the theatre they still buy the albums of artists they support but they are just so sick of being lied to about the quality of the content they purchase (everything is now 5 stars, everything is now two thumbs up and accordning to… ‘Battleship’ was the best movie ever made) DL’ing is one whay to sift through the marketing B.S. to pre-screen…

  • DarkTigris

    So I download this movie and make someone else watch it and he dies? Great assassin weapon, no fingerprints, no proof. Sweet.

  • icec0ld

    Rofl.

    “Not available in your region”

    Gee. This is in no way self defeating. /Rollseyes

  • Mr P

    Just one more datapoint: yeah, I download content, but I make it a point to support the content creators that do good work. I’m not trying to claim any kind of moral superiority — this is simply what I consider fair. And — call it hypocrisy or a double standard or whatever you want — I’m much more inclined to support small, independent creators than huge Hollywood production studios.

    I watched _John Dies At The End_ and I thought it was pretty freakin’ awesome; it’s directed by Don Coscarelli (who did the _Phantasm_ movies, which (to me) makes him a legend). In short: the man has my $10.

    I thought the “don’t pirate” video was clever and also hilarious — for those of you without a sense of humor, yes, it’s intended to be funny — and also a textbook example of how a savvy independent film-maker can “remind” the pirate fans to support the film.

    Making the film available online for a reasonable price before its theatrical distribution is really cool — maybe it’s not perfect because it’s not available everywhere, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction.

    I see a lot of people complaining. I guess no matter what you do, ya can’t please everyone. But it seems to me like the people behind _John Dies At The End_ are actively attempting to do things in a manner that many downloaders consider “good” and “fair”. And I hope that more content creators follow their example.

    Mr P

  • jishubuhao
  • Soy Devil

    Downloaded it for Free, Watched it … Pleasantly Surprised: Awesome Movie! I bought a “Soy Devil” T-Shirt … So they made Money :)

  • BTGuard - BitTorrent Anonymously

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