Justin Bieber Movie Pirates Deserve At Least 3 Years In Jail

So, this week saw the VIP premiere of Justin Bieber's new 3D movie, Never Say Never. Unfortunately the glittering event appears to have been overshadowed by countless teenagers who have the nerve to describe themselves as hardcore fans, but are in fact little more than federal criminals who deserve at least 3 years in jail. I blame the parents, and I'm not the only one.

bieberThe purpose of this article is not to try and convince anyone that I’m some kind of Justin Bieber guru, but from what I’ve been hearing during the last couple of years, she’s pretty good looking and has millions of adoring fans. That’s got to be a good start.

I also know that the Bieber has a new movie out. It’s called Never Say Never, it’s shot in glorious 3D and is apparently “half-concert, half-biographical film”. The critics, according to various reports, think that it’s pretty good, even though the New York Times said that “…at 105 minutes it’s exhausting.” Let’s face it, more than an hour and half of any teenager can wear one out, and not always in a good way either.

But it’s not all positive news I’m afraid. This week, Never Say Never had its VIP Premiere and according to reports, the event was scarred by a rampage of federal criminality.

Untold numbers of teenagers, who lined up for God-knows-how-long and paid $30 a shot for the privilege, weren’t happy with simply seeing the floppy-haired one in all His (3D) Glory. Oh no. Teenagers always want more, don’t they?

No doubt relying on the utterly poor excuse of wanting to have some memories of their day, some reportedly pointed their camera-phones and recorded the screen, blatantly driving a cart and horses through the Artist’s Rights and Theft Prevention Act of 2005 in the process. Believe me, that’s some serious shit.

You can get locked up for 3 years for camming in the US. Do it twice and you’re looking at a 6 stretch. And quite right too. Let kids get away with it now and next thing you know they’ll be camming for the Scene and 2017′s Never Say Never, Ever, Ever Again Part 6 will be all over The Pirate Bay, just when Bieber needs the money most.

“Since most of the audience consisted of teenage girls with their parents, I am left to wonder what parent lets their child commit a crime? Even scarier, what kind of parent lets them do it in public?” says a concerned writer on Examiner.

“Also I wonder how can Justin’s fans call themselves true fans by stealing from the star? Sure, they are probably not going to present their illegal footage in a theater, and collect money, but it is still considered stealing just the same,” the report continues adding: “Aren’t parent’s who sit by and allowed their teens to commit this act just as guilty?”

Absolutely. That sounds like contributory infringement right there. But you know what? Despite looking high and low, there appears to have been no arrests. Not one. Considering how much money was spent by the MPAA lobbying for anti-camming laws, I have to say this is somewhat of a disappointment.

Where are the airport-style bag searches and pat downs on the way into the theater? Where were the infra-red goggles and anti-cam technologies? Why weren’t these criminals detained for a couple of days?

“I’m wearing tattoos of Justin Bieber, a T-shirt of Justin Bieber, and a necklace,” eight-year-old Audrey Danis said in one theater. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m a bigger fan than her. We listen to Justin Bieber all the time. She has a Justin Bieber room,” said her mother.

Fans? Thieves more like. And what did the Universal Cineplex in Orlando do about this. Nothing. No scandals, no pissing off the public, no arrests. Common sense being applied by the movie industry? I certainly hope not, we’ve got stories about injustices to write.

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