Movie Screening Security Guards Take On The Pirates
Written by enigmax on March 26, 2008The best way to deal with piracy is to go in hard - real hard. It doesn’t matter if you upset non-pirates or alienate your customers, it doesn’t matter if you make children cry. Pirates are evil and they need to be dealt with severely - this documentary shows how it’s best done, using intimidation and violence.
In the time it took you to read the introduction to this post, movie pirates have cost the MPAA $12.7m in lost revenue, several thousand people in the movie industry have lost their jobs, and civilization (as we know it) is under threat.
Faced with this nightmare scenario, drastic action is called for, as any delay could exacerbate the already horrendous losses listed above. It’s time to stop movie piracy in its tracks - right now - by letting loose the “Movie Screening Security Guards”, armed with the bluntest instruments known to man - and night vision goggles.
MSSG is a four-man security team, here to serve and protect the integrity of the Hollywood movie industry. They say they’re here to hunt down strange people - the type that download stuff from the Internet and anyone carrying large bags “like a suicide bomber” into a movie theater.
Their training allows them to see things normal people can’t, so when they’re confronted with what appears to be a kid with a cellphone, they do the right thing - and immediately destroy it, rightly terrifying the child.
“The world needs morals and integrity,” says the MSSG boss, “and when someone’s going around recording films that cost millions of dollars to make, and showing them to all their little snot-nosed friends while they’re picking their noses, well that’s just wrong. When you take morals and integrity away from a human being, I ask you: What then? What do you have left then?
Enjoy the documentary.
Previously: Help Azureus to Fight BitTorrent Throttling ISPs
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83 Responses (Add yours or TrackBack)
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HAHAHAAHA!!! This is some kind of joke right? Those losers could’t even catch fish in a bowl. And just for you ‘MSSG’ i’m not gonna wait DVD release of 10,000BC, i’m gonna download it just now!
What a bunch of choads
[quote comment="319125"]They should be glad someone’s downloading the movies .. considering the amount of retarded shit that’s being made these days.
I’d happily go spend money on a DVD, if there’s even a slightest chance I could watch the movie again.
99.9% times it just isn’t worth it.
So fuck them already, private imperialistic money-whores, shoving crap down our throats - one way or another.[/quote]
Know what you mean, specially with the Jumper movie. I thought it was some cool futuristic action film, turned out it was a gayish teenager movie with the typical save-girlfriend-shit.
Ok, a fine joke indeed x)
First i thought I would get angry after watching this but seriously… I laughed my ass off! It’s a joke, it’s got to be…right?
I saddens me that anyone could watch this video and not realize that it was a spoof.
http://www. youtube. com/watch?v=d82Lq2rVB_4
Anti-Piracy Spot from the IT-Crowd, it’s even better than the screening clip :)
Okay, next time I go to the movies I´ll have to bring my shotgun, aye?
I’m joining the M55A.. Lets make this not a four operation. Lets make it a 5 man operation.
Yours sincerly: The Fifth Man.
(Just say no! to piracy)
Haha, I hope this is sarcasm :P
reefer madness
that video was pretty dumb…
with the way things are going you will be forbidden to even talk about the movie with your friends afterwards!
i can imagine the lights coming on in the middle of a movie, “attention chair e-15, i see that you are watching this movie very closely, as we dont mind you enjoying the film you had better not remember anything or we will prosicute!”
The Taliban would be happy to hire these determined guys and wipe out crime completely and keep the world a safe place.
Hey, Enigmax, are you sure man that this is a documentary??? It looks more like a mockumentary, a comedy film made to mock the shit out of the movie industry. Even the acting is over exaggerated, both funny and ridiculous at the same time. I find it real hard to believe that this is for real.
This is a joke guys
It’s quite frightening to me that so many respondents have failed to see that BOTH THE BLOG AND THE VIDEO ARE SPOOFS.
There is a slightly serious truth behind the parody, however. Many pop concert tickets advise that customers “Do not bring cameras or recording equipment into the venue”, because the bastards that sell the music and posters want sole control (and the sales) of merchandise.
For what it’s worth, I think everyone should be allowed to record concerts and take photos, and they should probably be allowed to film what they see in a movie theatre too, provided they aren’t selling copies.
Making money from other people’s work is what movie execs do. Don’t sink to their level.
Tags: bittorrent, Humor, movie piracy, mssg, piracy
Another dull newsday huh?
Uh, that video was stupid as hell.
Its just a parody/satire;
the world could use a few more, in general!
In general the issues are old; King John is charging to much taxes, Robin Hood thinks you shouldn’t have to pay any taxes, neither of them is really right but Robin Hood is closer:)
GO RON PAUL !!!
GO RON PAUL !!!
GO RON PAUL !!!
Those who insist that this was a joke will realize too late that it can become true when you continue to insist it was just a joke.
[quote comment="319482"]Those who insist that this was a joke will realize too late that it can become true when you continue to insist it was just a joke.[/quote]
while those who mistook this as real instead of a joke r making themself a joke
[quote comment="319049"][quote comment="318992"]“it doesn’t matter if you make children cry.”
Your writing blows this really out of proportion. Of course they don’t want people videotaping or downloading their movies which only seems fair and yes sometimes they take it too far to protect their investment but pirates aren’t the robin hood this site seems to make them out to be.
Get over yourself and realize that pirates only do it because its easier and more convenient than paying 10 bucks for a night out.
There isn’t a terrible injustice here but you seem to make it seem like there is.[/quote]
Stupidity at its finest… 10 bucks isn’t what it is going to cost you. Don’t forget the over priced popcorn and soda..[/quote]
Your calling him stupid for not including the price of popcorn and soda into the movie ticket? That seems even more ridiculous than the article itself.
[quote comment="319507"][quote comment="319482"]Those who insist that this was a joke will realize too late that it can become true when you continue to insist it was just a joke.[/quote]
while those who mistook this as real instead of a joke r making themself a joke[/quote]
One would not be able to perceive it as a joke if there was no context.
[quote comment="319540"][quote comment="319507"][quote comment="319482"]Those who insist that this was a joke will realize too late that it can become true when you continue to insist it was just a joke.[/quote]
while those who mistook this as real instead of a joke r making themself a joke[/quote]
One would not be able to perceive it as a joke if there was no context.[/quote]
logical deductions,critical thinking,…post tags,they all lead to contexxxxt
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