Movie Screening Security Guards Take On The Pirates
Written by enigmax on March 26, 2008The best way to deal with piracy is to go in hard - real hard. It doesn’t matter if you upset non-pirates or alienate your customers, it doesn’t matter if you make children cry. Pirates are evil and they need to be dealt with severely - this documentary shows how it’s best done, using intimidation and violence.
In the time it took you to read the introduction to this post, movie pirates have cost the MPAA $12.7m in lost revenue, several thousand people in the movie industry have lost their jobs, and civilization (as we know it) is under threat.
Faced with this nightmare scenario, drastic action is called for, as any delay could exacerbate the already horrendous losses listed above. It’s time to stop movie piracy in its tracks - right now - by letting loose the “Movie Screening Security Guards”, armed with the bluntest instruments known to man - and night vision goggles.
MSSG is a four-man security team, here to serve and protect the integrity of the Hollywood movie industry. They say they’re here to hunt down strange people - the type that download stuff from the Internet and anyone carrying large bags “like a suicide bomber” into a movie theater.
Their training allows them to see things normal people can’t, so when they’re confronted with what appears to be a kid with a cellphone, they do the right thing - and immediately destroy it, rightly terrifying the child.
“The world needs morals and integrity,” says the MSSG boss, “and when someone’s going around recording films that cost millions of dollars to make, and showing them to all their little snot-nosed friends while they’re picking their noses, well that’s just wrong. When you take morals and integrity away from a human being, I ask you: What then? What do you have left then?
Enjoy the documentary.
Previously: Help Azureus to Fight BitTorrent Throttling ISPs
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83 Responses (Add yours or TrackBack)
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[quote comment="319843"]Seriously, what is with all of the comments opining about how this is “Real”…is satire now dead?[/quote]
No, just the brains of some of the viewers.
[quote comment="321199"]Mmmmh…video is gone on youtube, anybody has another Link or a lokal copy?[/quote]
Here you go;
http://rapidshare.com/files/103349615/Movie_Screening_Security_Guards.flv.html
Download it, spread it, love it. :)
How stupid must one be to believe that a bad low quality handy can rip will reduce the movie sells in any noticeable way,
if one is ready to watch a ultra bad quality video he is most currently not ready to pay a cent for the movie.
Hey guys!
Thanks for all the awesome feedback! We loved reading what you had to say both good and bad. I wanted to let you all know that Movie Screening Security Guards is available to watch at the following link:
http://www.thedoorpost.com/?film=187053cccbad2a341ef01b4c936bb54b
It does require you to register because of the notorious “cocksucker” line, but it’s free. If we win the first round of the competition we get 10 grand to make another short film! So please check it out, every vote helps!
Joe
The videos gone…
This would be funny, if it weren’t how my theatre is. They’re normally pretty nice, but one opening night, they flip on everything.
[quote comment="318992"]“it doesn’t matter if you make children cry.”
Your writing blows this really out of proportion. Of course they don’t want people videotaping or downloading their movies which only seems fair and yes sometimes they take it too far to protect their investment but pirates aren’t the robin hood this site seems to make them out to be.
Get over yourself and realize that pirates only do it because its easier and more convenient than paying 10 bucks for a night out.
There isn’t a terrible injustice here but you seem to make it seem like there is.[/quote]
You are clearly one of those people who should refrain from speaking in public on matters of which you know nothing. Piracy at this stage in the game isn’t about getting a free movie any more than Anti-piracy is about protecting the integrity of the films. Read and learn first, THEN comment.
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