Hilarious Mininova Support E-mails

Written by Ernesto on July 18, 2007 

Our friend Niek who runs mininova posted a series of hilarious e-mails that he received from Mininova users. A sneak peek into the daily business of a BitTorrent site admin.

Mininova’s mail server handles approximately 650 incoming e-mails on an average day. Luckily, not all of them are takedown request. Some of the e-mails are actually pretty funny support questions or random rants.

It must be hard to run a popular BitTorrent site. Here are some examples, there are more at the Mininova blog.

The Fart Guy

hello please help me, i farted on the disc and it became rotten so i cleaned it with piss, then i shoved it into the ps2 but then my ps2 laser broke, what do i do, fart on it again?

No Dots Please

Why is the creator of the Bill Maher torrent file so STUPID that they start the name of the file with a period?! Dammit! Get this clue: Files that start with a period are INVISIBLE on UNIX OSs!!! I am on Mac OS X and am sick of this moronic file naming. I am going to complain until this bozo problem is stopped.

Shadowlike People

pls view the contents of this movie. ther are 3 shadowlike people in a theater making commentaries while the movie is playing. i expected a good movie, but the sound of godzilola is drowned out by the commentaries who are watching the movie

Previously: TorrentFreak Under Attack?

Next: Harry Potter Fans Transcribe Book from Photos

18 Responses

1 Jul 18, 2007 at 13:02 by Turbo Torrent Belly Jr

Hahaha, that one is a future classic:

“ther are 3 shadowlike people in a theater making commentaries while the movie is playing.”

LOL.2.0!!!!

2 Jul 18, 2007 at 15:31 by Anton

Who the hell wastes writing these crappy emails, do they actually expect to hold a one on one conversation?

3 Jul 18, 2007 at 15:51 by enigmax

Another tracker admin received this;

“Call this a propper torrent site?? wtf? I dwonloaded like 30 albums overnite and I dont like any of this music? I expect to find my kind of music I didnt and now i’m sorry i even cared to sign up.
Totally useless i wont tell my friends obviously.”

4 Jul 18, 2007 at 16:10 by Harris

This is pretty funny, actually. Nice post, LOL>.

5 Jul 18, 2007 at 16:12 by ColdFission

Wow. ^^^ Why the hell did he download those albums in the first place? Its called read the title and do some research. These people obviously are losing IQ points per second while typing up these damn e-mails.

Think hard, real hard, before typing anything.

6 Jul 18, 2007 at 20:23 by low_dirt

*sigh* PEBKAC

7 Jul 19, 2007 at 01:59 by Eric

My favorite is the guy that doesn’t realize he is watching the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version of Godzilla… Did he not notice that 2 of the silhouettes were robots?

8 Jul 19, 2007 at 02:32 by Tomas

You think that’s funny, try running a popular social website. It’s insane the comments I have to read as customer support. People think they own the site and they act as if they’re funding the site (which they obviously are not). How do you respond to someone who keeps contacting to say they have “butter on their crotch”, or one guy who keeps requesting pirated movies that have yet to been released or never existed in the first place. Then there are the people who demand some feature that is completely impossible to provide (think something like providing them with free internet + paying all their bills), and then you have people who complain about everything from not getting the username they wanted to not being added as a friend to someone they clearly didn’t know. It gets even more hilarious when you realize that people give their real address and pictures and send in outlandish problems and concerns.

The snail mail we receive takes the cake. People go through such extremes to send us the most inane and useless things (at their expense of course). We get things like rubber tires, fan mail, hate mail, cured fruits and meats, coupons, underwear (worn underwear..:S ). You most likely use the social site I work for (signed a NDA) but let me just say it is or was one of the biggest ones out there. The main thing is that I can definitely relate to how idiotic some of the things people send in or complain about. So the next time you’re thinking about complaining, please exercise caution and decency and know that someone like me is on the other end laughing at you and secretly wondering whether they should risk their job and post the very private details you send in on the frontpage of the site.

9 Jul 19, 2007 at 02:51 by Dakster

HAHA! Cured fruits and a tire! Now that is a watercooler subject worthy of an Emmy.

10 Jul 19, 2007 at 03:40 by Fred

I would suggest auctioning off the tire, underwear and other good stuff for a fund raiser to support education for people with disabilities.
For all you know, the sender may buy his stuff back and attend the school.

11 Jul 19, 2007 at 11:52 by SantaBJ

Hah… if you can write *one* article with just three such quotes, you’d be able to write a long series of articles just by paying some attention in #EZTV @ EFNet ;) (IRC channel, for the uninitiated…)

12 Jul 20, 2007 at 00:30 by Eric J.

[quote comment="134448"]My favorite is the guy that doesn’t realize he is watching the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version of Godzilla… Did he not notice that 2 of the silhouettes were robots?[/quote]

Yeah, mine too. MST3K forever!

13 Jul 20, 2007 at 05:14 by TorrentSpam

Hey MiniNova!

Help report spam torrents http://www.torrentspam.com
If you are unsure that any of the torrents are bad, our site will rank and alert you if the torrent is spam or not based on reports by fellow peers.

Keep P2P Safe!!! :-)

14 Jul 20, 2007 at 11:49 by John

We get hundreds of questions emailed in daily for GigaTribe (shameless plug: http://www.gigatribe.com !). Thing is, most emails aren’t half as bad as Mininova’s, but a lot of the sentences we read just don’t make sense or are so damn vague that we half to ask for more details, ex: “How do I organize my files?”. That’s like calling your car mechanic and asking him “My car won’t start, how do I make it run?”… I guess with every product out there, there’s 1% of it’s users who are smoking low grade carpet!

15 Jul 20, 2007 at 14:02 by major9

I liked the last one. Really funny.

16 Jan 20, 2008 at 22:15 by Zach

“Godzilola” eh?

Sounds like great fanfiction in the making.

17 Feb 27, 2008 at 09:30 by kidzstuffz.com

http://kidzstuffz.com

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