Pirate Prisons Project Launches, Book Your Cell Now!
Written by Ernesto on January 06, 2009Entertainment industry lobbyists are desperately pushing to get tougher anti-piracy legislation implemented worldwide. The Pirate Prisons Project followed these developments closely and sees it as a business opportunity. It has now opened up their prison construction project to investors, while pirates are given the chance to book a cell in advance.
During recent months, the RIAA, MPAA and other anti-piracy outfits have been lobbying for legislation that would make it possible to disconnect repeated copyright infringers from the Internet, with some success.
The RIAA recently announced that it would stop its massive legal campaigns and limit the court visits to a minimum. No surprise there. Lawsuits are expensive and the RIAA lost more of those than they had hoped, so they turned their attention to lawmakers, local governments and ISPs instead.
The new plan is to get legislation implemented that will allow the entertainment industry to spy on the filesharing behaviors of individual Internet subscribers, and order their disconnection when they are suspected of repeated copyright infringements. Ideally they would like to make “downloading” a criminal offense of course, and this is exactly what the Pirates Prison Project is anticipating.
According to Dimitri Johnson, CEO of Pirate Prisons Project (PPP), billions of Internet users around the world will have to be thrown in jail if the anti-piracy lobbyists have their way. “Everyone is guilty by default: since nobody will want to do without Internet access, no matter what, everyone will end up going to jail. All of our kids, parents, friends and peers. Off to jail we go,” he writes.
“This trend has led PPP to foresee a gigantic business opportunity,” Dimitri adds, while introducing his plans to build thousands of prisons where these Internet pirates can be locked up. Investors can buy shares in these yet to be built prisons, and pirates have the opportunity to book a comfortable cell in advance. PPP currently offers three options:
1. Buy Shares
You can invest in the new prisons due to be built, which is a solid investment according to the PPP. 150 shares currently trade at $10,000, but people with a smaller budget can get 2 shares for just $200.
2. Denounce Someone
If you happen to know someone who pirates music, software or movies on the Internet, you can first report them, and then send them over to the PPP website to book their cell early on. There are several options to choose from, and early birds get the best picks.
3. Book a Cell Yourself
Last but not least, you can book a cell yourself, and make sure that you’ll have a comfortable time in prison once you’re locked up. If your budget allows it, you can book the “jail premium” package: the largest cell available, complete with broadband Internet.
TorrentFreak contacted one of the project leaders, who told us that he hopes to get the RIAA and MPAA on board as one of the main investors in the project. He’s right, it’s their future…
Introducing the Pirate Prison Project
Previously: Anonymous BitTorrent Service VPN4Life is a Scam
Next: Game Developer Confronts iPhone Software Cracker
64 Responses
Haha, nice.
Oh my gawd.
fake!
congratulations….you just passed the 3rd grade!!!
Quite funny, reminds me of those easy money schemes in the early 18th century by South Sea Company when they were organizing mining and textile companies as well as a company to bring live fish to market in tanks, an insurance company to insure female chastity, and a company "for an undertaking which shall in due time be revealed."
"Legal notice: PPP is a parody. It's not for real. Have fun!" - on the about page :)
These guys are very high and drunk, when they lose 3-4 case, they will see what the real world is !
Another Jack@ass trying to be cleaver lol
PPP Go F@ck yourself !
P.S: PPP, i highly recommending you not to start Bit@ching with ThePirateBay else you are gone ;)
made me lol
thanks
some Paris A-Holes.
PPP is scam, they are collecting $ from everyone lol
In all their videos, i saw, now it's time to act, donate us some F*cking money lol
They are begging for $ all the time lol
I never saw such a big scam in my whole entire life. lol
It is a joke, a parody. I guess that this is a result of the fact that copyright has gone so crazy now, it is difficult to separate the parodies from the real immoral copyright-pushers.
This made my day/ Nice one
lol
what a joke…
The scary thing is that if RIAA/MPAA/whatever gets their way a large part of the population will actually get sent to prison, and thus a buissness like this might actually become real. That is ofcourse if the buildingcompany doesn't get sued for infringing on copyrighted building-structures first ;)
do you actually think before you post? or did you just see the words "jail" and "downloading", do a shit on the keyboard and hit the "submit comment" button?
I'd have totally believed this news, if the video wasn't so obvious. Look at how far the content industry has brought us, this is nuts.
I've been making arrangements with the PPP for weeks now. I don't want the MAFIAA to be able to read such correspondence because then they'd know I'm a pirate. The cell I've booked is "just in case" I will still try to avoid going there if I can. Therefore I use opportunistic encryption when dealing with the PPP. I call it PPPoE!
if i cant get laid there where can i?
Not a bad idea actually, stick everyone who wants to pirate in a prison where they can pirate to their hearts content without harming anyone else. Bean bags for all :D
Sounds interesting, all the different trackers would have prisom gangs lol
Has anyone reported said fraud to their host?
Name Server: NS109.NAMECHEAPHOSTING.COM
Name Server: NS9.NAMECHEAPHOSTING.COM
Most hosting companies with a clue would yank that shit post haste.
"the largest cell available, complete with broadband Internet."
> What about if the guy downloads in prison ?
I'll buy a cell if I can get a keyboardless Macbook wheel in there: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/92328
Do i get to have a girl in my cell? ;))
Sounds like regular small business to me.
I will finally get to be someones bitch!
Yeah, like you can type pretty fast with that thing.. on the contrary, once you have this thing, you can appreciate the traditional keyboard.
lol good luck on smuggling it into prison.
Yes, it is.
….Oh yeah me too. I was gonna say the same thing.
Reminds me of the events surrounding all sharemarket bubbles and (following market crashes) in the last 300 years - which, btw, historically have occurred every 30 years approximately, something to do with investors forgetting about the rules once every generation.
For example in the most recent, the so called "Tech Bubble" around the turn of last century and the current one, internet startups were being valued at many millions of dollars despite having no assets, income stream or in some cases a plan to realise either assets or income.
Er… no it isn't
Mr. Afganistan, either you're being very, very dry with your humour or you're a freaking moron. I say the latter is more likely.
Don't be a sensationalist moron you idiot. If you bothered to keep abreast of things you will note that the proportion of people sent to jail for merely downoading is basically non-existent.
HAHAHA, that's almost funnier than the article :D
http://www.piratesprisons.com/about-ppp.html
Legal notice: PPP is a parody. It's not for real. Have fun!
Get your facts strait!
If PPP was real, I'd invest in it and book a cell just to show that it wasn't going anywhere.
rofl, who wants to buy shares of things that dont yet(probably never will) exist! that ceo is a morron. they will file bankrupcy in no time
lol
nice satire
This is unconstitutional, because throwing or booking someone for prison for being reported as a potential pirate without any court oversight will be attacked by freedom fighters, rebels and the people. It is unconstitutional to book someone for prison without a trial, and right to a lawyer, a right to stay silent, and right to not disclose any personal info including password, and a right not to goto prison until the judges decision is made and if theres an error there is a right to an appeal. Thats the constitutional way!!!!!!!!!!
One scam followed by another……..
I will admit it took me a paragraph or two to figure out the story is bullshit :D
Exactly what i was thinking, you never know with those s**theads
Why would you invest in something so rediculas? Thats like investing in money George Bush. U know the money will just goto his dealer :D
And one Idiot after an other actually thinks that it's real or that TF doesn't know it's a fake
Every day I wake up, my world is becoming more and more like Robocop.
jail wtf? has anyone anywhere actually ever been punished for merely downloading something?
to early for April fools but I will bite..LOL
Yeah, I think I'll invest my savings xD
You, sir, are a dumb ass.
Can we turn it into something like big brother? LOL it could be a reality show.
It could be fun !!
You realize the Onion is making fun of Apple, right
Invest in some spelling lessons.
That is the whole point of the joke…
Better book my cell, Ohh.. Whats that downloading some new films on my seedbox.
Sounds quite good fun tbf throwing all the pirates into 1 Prision, When you get out you may have got sense to, All make a new website which is pretty hard to get shut down, OR, DOWNLOAD HARDER!
I choose both of my ideas.
Nick
Http://burn-blue.com
if i get a couch, a computer and internet.. itl be pretty much like home..
Suspended sentence has happened so far.
So that's what you get from a century of inbreeding, huh?
YOU CAN GET THROWN IN JAIL WITHOUT THE COURT SYSTEM
hell ye a pirate convention retreat organise ppls u gata stay ahead of the man
^ What? Did you just spit on torrentfreak?
You know, it makes me happy to say that if that was real, it would probably be the most friendly prison in the world… just shit loads of people who share as a pastime? Damn right. Reserve me the presidential cell!
Oh, by the way, on the PPP website 'About' page, before the parody section…
'This goes along with their past strategy of using the power of decade-old laws to enforce a failed business model: more than 25.000 people were sued for sharing music online, worldwide, already.'
Is that a decimal point or a comma? 25 people or 25,000? LOL
Hahaha!
What a great parody!
I wonder if the broadband in their `premium` cell package is faster than what I have now and the `cable` channels more than I have already…
Time to shop myself in for being a `pirate`…..ARGGGHHHHH matey, scrub the decks etc…
That's a comma; in the non-English-speaking bits of Europe they use a dot and a comma in the opposite way to how we do; where we write 12,345.6 they'd write 12.345,6.
How can i not, like half the things in there are. lol internet crash anyone?
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